


Fragments

by knightlyss



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: EVERYONE - Freeform, F/M, M/M, and it was probably a bad idea but too late now, because I wanted to test myself, cursive is clarke's phone and bellamy is regular, everyone steals clarke's phone, it's kind of a problem, mentions of others - Freeform, takes place over a year, written exclusively in text form
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 07:51:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7161245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightlyss/pseuds/knightlyss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Happy Textiversary!"</p><p>"Textiwhatnow?"</p><p> </p><p>new phone who dis no wait I'm really not kidding au</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fragments

 

 

 

_You would not believe the day I've had._

 

New phone, who dis?

 

_Can we pls not do this tonight Rae? Today was shitty, and I need to vent._

 

Sure, but before you do, I'm really not kidding. It's a new phone. So, definitely not Rae. I think you've got the wrong number?

 

_Oh._

 

_Oh shit, sorry, messed up the last two digits by mistake._

 

Happens to the best of us.

 

 

 

~*~

 

I'm curious now.

 

… _Who is this?_

 

Not Rae.

 

_Oh, right. Curious about what?_

 

Your shitty day.

 

_That was two days ago. Also it was and is none of your business._

 

Jesus, Princess, just making conversation.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Sorry about the other day. Shouldn't have snapped._

 

Probably not, but it's not like I didn't ask for it.

 

_Actually, you were being pretty polite, if nosy._

 

Politeness is practically a dying art in this world. I totally asked for it.

 

_Fair point._

 

 

~*~

 

 

_I got dumped._

 

When? On Rae-day?

 

_Yep._

 

Wasn't that the day before Valentine's?

 

_Again, Yep._

 

Oh.

 

_Pretty much._

 

Shit, that's terrible. Sorry.

 

_It's OK. Not like I could do anything about it. Our relationship was pretty much inevitably doomed. Different things, it's not you it's me, yada yada._

 

Yeah, that one's always a winner.

 

If it's any comfort, my Valentine's day was spent alone after being banned from my sister's apartment.

 

_Protective brother?_

 

Is it that obvious?

 

I may have punched her new boyfriend in the face, when I found out he's six years older than her.

 

_Smooth._

 

Thanks. I'm allowed back as soon as the bruise fades.

 

And when I've apologized.

 

_Which you did straight away, right?_

 

I'm working on it.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

Did you ever get a hold of your friend?

 

_You mean Rae? Thankfully, yes. Went to a bar, made out with each other to get free drinks, and used the hangover as an excuse to eat bad thai food and stay in bed. Best V-day ever._

 

Well now I feel stupid for sharing my pathetic day. Yours sounds awesome.

 

_Speaking of which, have you apologized yet?_

 

It's a work in progress.

 

_Dude._

 

It's hard, okay? My sister is my world, and she's my responsibility. I can't help the way I'm wired.

 

_Maybe not, but do you really want her to stay mad at you this long? It's been two weeks._

 

I know how long it's been, Princess. Believe me.

 

_Fine. Forget I brought it up._

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Why do you call me Princess?_

 

What?

 

_You've called me Princess twice now. Both times when you were slightly pissed off, so..._

 

So, what? It's demeaning for you?

 

_Now that you mention it._

 

Fuck, are you a guy?

 

_Is that seriously the only reason you think I'd be offended?_

 

 

~*~

 

 

What do you want me to call you then?

 

_Depends._

 

On?

 

_On how much you're willing to share about yourself. We are total strangers after all. My phone has you listed as Not Rae, but I'm guessing your real name is way classier?_

 

Oh no, Not Rae makes me sound important. Keep it.

 

Maybe add a smiley face.

 

_Only if you add me as 'Princess' with a gun emoji._

 

Done.

 

 

~*~

 

 

I did it.

 

_Apologized?_

 

No, I finally got the last of the spinach out of my teeth.

 

Yes, I apologized.

 

_Ass. How did it go?_

 

Well, the flowers helped. And the promise to never punch someone she loves ever again.

 

_Good man._

 

 

~*~

 

 

My sister says hi.

 

_Hi?_

 

Hi: interjection – used as an informal way of saying “hello”.

 

_You are a wealth of knowledge._

 

I do what I can.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_The real Rae wants to know why I have a Not Rae listed on my phone._

 

Feel free to share my Valentine sob story.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_This sucks._

 

I'm sure you're right. What's up?

 

_My mother is what's up._

 

Ah.

 

_It's alright, I know you're curious._

 

Bursting at the seams.

 

_She's expressing her distaste in my choice of workplace and dating life._

 

The audacity.

 

_Glad you understand._

 

Totally. What's her verdict?

 

_That I'm a “brilliant girl, woman, who shouldn't be wasting her time with playing around and kissing other girls”._

 

She sounds charming.

 

_Doesn't she, though?_

 

So your job entails kissing girls and/or playing around?

 

_Kissing girls AND boys are only done in my spare time, thank you very much. My job, which I love btw, is doing art with special needs kids at the local middle school._

 

Huh.

 

_What?_

 

So you're literally a princess.

 

_Shut up._

 

No, I mean it. It sounds awesome.

 

_Honorable even? Noble?_

 

Your mother's words?

 

_It's like you've met already._

 

_She hasn't even been gone five minutes, and all I can hear is her disapproving voice, telling me I threw my career as a doctor away just so I can do finger painting with children._

 

_I'm sorry, I'm way into oversharing territory._

 

It's alright. I'm not exactly the real Rae, but I can still lend an ear.

 

Or a text or whatever.

 

How come you went from doctor to teacher?

 

_It's a long story. And a little personal._

 

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry.

 

_It's okay._

 

_What's your job?_

 

Coincidentally, I teach at my old high school. History, and sometimes English when they need a sub.

 

_Sounds cool. Have you always wanted to be a teacher?_

 

Pretty much. We had these great history books in my house, and my sister and me would always read about these grand battles and epic romances. She grew out of them but I didn't, and one day I decided I wanted to help kids understand just how awesome it all really is.

 

_You had a fossil of a teacher, didn't you?_

 

The worst. Pretty sure his name was Mr. Mammoth.

 

_You're kidding._

 

No wait, it was Mr. Maddox.

 

_I don't see the difference._

 

Exactly.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Hey, Not Rae._

 

Hey, Princess. How are things?

 

_Wait, you call her Princess?_

 

… Who's this?

 

_Real Rae, I guess._

 

Oh.

 

Hi.

 

_Yeah, hi. So, what's happening right now?_

 

We're talking?

 

_No, I mean you and “Princess” here._

 

Again, talking.

 

_Just talking????_

 

I feel like we're going in circles here.

 

_How long has this been going on?_

 

About a month, I think. Where's the princess?

 

_Bathroom. Long line._

 

So you kidnapped her phone?

_More like holding it for her, so she doesn't loose it._

 

How very noble of you.

 

_I like to think so. But back to my original question. You're just talking?_

 

Why's that so hard to believe?

 

_It's not exactly hard, it's just... new. All this texting._

 

She didn't know how to text before?

 

_Funny._

 

Thank you.

 

 _She doesn't normally text_ _because_ _she's crap at it._ _She's more of a phone call kind of girl,_ _so I got curious._

 

She's lucky to have you.

 

_Sass all you want, but I can delete your contact info right now._

 

But I still have hers.

 

_Shit. Why didn't I think of that?_

 

If it helps, you can just threaten to block me.

 

_That does help, thanks._

 

I aim to please.

 

_Well, looks like she's coming back soon. Bye, Not Rae._

 

Bye, Real Rae.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Did she really steal my phone just to ask you my intentions?_

 

_Wait, your intentions? Fcukk_

 

 

~*~

 

 

How's your head?

 

 

_Ask me after the room stops spinning._

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

_Well, at least she didn't ask you anything incriminating._

 

Does she usually do that?

 

_Lets just say she can be very direct._

 

I didn't get that impression at all. She seems soft. Like a kitten.

 

_I'll tell her you said that._

 

Please do.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_You're a dick, Not Rae._

 

Thank you, Real Rae.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Remind me again why I wanted to be a teacher?

 

_Well, I'm paraphrasing here, but I think you told me it was for the kids?_

 

I take it back.

 

_Dare I ask what happened?_

 

Civil War lesson turning into a reenactment.

 

_That doesn't sound so bad._

 

It is when the war is between Beliebers and Directioners.

 

(Why do I know that??)

 

_Oh no._

 

_Are they throwing things or having a sing-off or something?_

 

_Wait, why are you texting me, it's 10.30._

 

I'm outside the door. Told them I'd take a few minutes for some coffee, and give them an earful when I get back from the teachers lounge.

 

_And?_

 

A little snickering here and there, but most of them are quiet as mice. So at least that's working.

 

_You should stay outside for a few more minutes. They'll think you went to the principal, and it'll freak them out more._

 

Princess Gun Emoji, you surprise me.

_They're teenagers. They can handle it._

 

I'm so glad you fumbled those last two digits.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Happy Textiversary!_

 

Textiwhatnow?

 

_We've been texting for a month! We should celebrate!_

 

You're already celebrating, aren't you?

 

…

 

_Maybe._

 

Tell Real Rae, I said hi.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Remind me never to drink my weight in tequila ever again._

 

Sorry, Bell forgot his phone, but you have my sympathies. Is your name really Princess?

 

_Oh. No it's not really Princess. Is his name really Bell?_

 

Wait, you don't know my brother's name?

 

_Nope._

 

Fuck.

 

_It's fine, I'll probably forget it in the hangover fog. You're the sister?_

 

I'm the sister.

 

_Cool. Good to meet you. Or, you know..._

 

Same. You're the one my brother texts all this time?

 

_I guess so?_

 

Cool. How do you guys know each other?

 

_Well, we don't, actually. I accidentally texted him instead of my friend, and it just kind of happened._

 

Are you serious?

 

_I know, it's weird._

 

No no, I'm just very surprised. He's so not the type to start texting random strangers.

 

_Me neither, but I guess we found a way around that._

 

Cool. Pls tell me you're a dude, and my brother is not being a dick to your gender btw.

 

_It's fine, I reprimanded him a while back. Hence the gun emoji._

 

Yeah, I was wondering about that. Don't worry, he's very much a feminist.

 

_I can breathe easy then._

 

So, do you guys know anything about each other?

 

_Just our jobs, really._

 

Are you a teacher like him?

 

_Yeah, I teach art at a middle school._

 

That's awesome. Is it nearby?

 

_I wouldn't know, we haven't shared that yet. I live in Mount Weather?_

 

You're THAT close? Bell teaches at Arkadia High.

 

_Wow, that is close._

 

Well, now I have two excuses to go to Mount Weather.

 

_Two?_

 

My boyfriend Lincoln lives there.

 

_As in Lincoln Davis??_

 

YOU KNOW HIM???? :O

 

_It's a small place. Not many Lincoln's here. He bartends at the Dropship._

 

Yeah, that's definitely him.

 

Wow. This is so weird.

 

In a good way of course.

 

Well, I'll get out of your hair. Bell should be back from class in about an hour. It was nice to meet you.

 

_You too._

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

I see you've bonded with my sister.

 

_She seems nice._

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

_My name's Clarke. I'm 23, I live in Mount Weather, and contrary to popular belief, I do not like long walks on the beach, but I do enjoy getting caught in the rain. My best friend is a mechanic named Raven, and we spend way too many weekends getting free drinks from your sister's boyfriend._

 

 

~*~

 

 

I'm Bellamy. I'm 28, I can't stop talking about history, my best friend's name is Miller, and my sister Octavia is dating your local bartender. I don't mind walks on the beach, but sea creatures freak me out, ever since an octupus latched onto my arm when I was five.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

So that's what you look like.

 

_What?_

 

O wanted to sleep over. She said you were the blonde talking to Lincoln by the bar.

 

_You mean you were at the Dropship last night, and you didn't come over to say hi? Rude._

 

I was in my car waiting for O, I just saw you through the window. You have a nice profile btw.

 

_Thanks._

 

We'll meet properly some other time. When we're both sober.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_What the fuck, Bellamy? Did you seriously text Lincoln not to serve me?_

 

I did.

 

_Why?_

 

Turn around.

 

_Oh._

 

 

~*~

 

 

See? Wasn't it much more fun to meet each other sober, and THEN get drunk?

 

_Your hangover better be as big as mine._

 

That depends. Can you normally hear colours?

 

_I'm pretty sure I heard my toaster reply after I thanked it. That can't be good._

 

 

~*~

 

 

_O says hi._

 

Should I be worried?

 

_Well, usually flirting with the bartender would mean yes._

 

I'll let it slide. Drink lots of water.

 

_Yes, Dad._

 

And be nice to Clarke.

 

_How did you know that was me?_

 

-.-

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Okay, who in the fuck was that possessive douchebag, Clarke?

 

_Mine and Raven's ex. Sorry you had to see that._

 

Not as sorry as I am. Seriously, what the hell?

 

_I know. He can be a bit of an asshole._

 

A bit?? I thought I was bad, but he makes me look like a saint next to that display.

 

_I know, I'm really sorry. Thank god for Lincoln._

 

Never thought I'd say this, but you're right. Thank god for the big scary man that's dating my sister.

 

_Lincoln's not scary._

 

You're aware of the tattoo crawling up his neck, right?

 

_He wouldn't hurt a soul. Besides, I've got a tattoo, and I'm not scary._

 

I beg to differ. You have a tattoo?

 

Clarke?

 

~*~

 

 

_We should merge our groups._

 

As in our social circles? Sure. Dropship on Friday?

 

_I was thinking dinner and a movie. Watch the new Marvel, maybe?_

 

Are you asking me out on a date with several other people, Princess?

 

_If you can handle me + 7._

 

Sorry, I draw the limit at foursomes.

 

_Bellamy._

 

I'm kidding. Sounds nice.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Hey Not Rae. Where's this diner again? I think we passed the same Starbucks twice._

 

Hey Real Rae, you're heading the right way. Tell Clarke to make a left after the bookstore.

 

_Pls tell me we're five minutes away. Jasper is getting antsy._

 

Tell him to keep it in his pants for two more minutes.

 

_You've obviously never been stoned before._

 

Munchies?

 

_He's this close to chewing on my hair._

 

 

~*~

 

 

That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

 

_And we only managed to break one thing. I'd consider that an achievement._

 

Totally. We should make it a weekly thing.

 

_Poor Murphy._

 

He'll live. He hated that lucky cat anyway.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Please tell me you're not working._

 

Only if watching a documentary counts as work. What's up?

 

_Finn won't leave Raven alone. He just showed up at the garage, and I can't leave the kids._

 

On my way.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Thanks again, Not Rae._

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Hey Dad. Mom says we'll be late, so order for us._

 

Only if you stop calling me Dad.

 

_I'll stop when you stop behaving like one._

 

Jesus Christ.

 

_Dude, how many complexes do you have?_

 

Just shut up, Jasper.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_I think Monty and Miller are a thing._

 

Really? Good for them. How long have you suspected?

 

_Since I walked in on them making out an hour ago._

 

That'll do it.

 

 

~*~

 

 

They're definitely a thing.

 

_What do you mean?_

 

Miller forgot to lock his door.

 

Clarke?

 

I know you're not answering because you're laughing.

 

Clarke, this isn't funny. Miller's ass is going to give me nightmares.

 

CLARKE.

 

~*~

 

 

_How come you haven't texted lately?_

 

What do you mean? We talk all the time?

 

_Yeah, but we never really text any more._

 

You're a horrible texter.

 

And I'm literally five feet away from you.

 

_Not the point._

 

Fine. Hi. Hope you're doing well. How's that?

 

_Dick._

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

_SOS_

 

The number you have reached is currently unavailable.

 

_I'm serious Bellamy. Lexa is here._

 

Who?

 

_My ex._

 

Wait, Rae-day Lexa?

 

_No, that was Niylah. Lexa was two exes before that._

 

You are actually terrible at dating.

 

_I'm sorry, how many one night stands have you had this last month?_

 

Do you want my help or not?

 

_Dropship asap, pls._

 

Should I wear something slutty?

 

_She's very very gay._

 

_So yes._

 

 

~*~

 

 

_I can't believe you managed to pick up a chick and be my wingman at the same time._

 

It's one of my many talents apparently.

 

 

~*~

 

 

FYI, I'm bringing a +1 on Friday.

 

_O told me._

 

Alright.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_I think we're going to have to kick you out of the group. She's literally a ray of sunshine, and she's too good for you. She can just take your place._

 

I would be fine with that, except I cannot trust any of you to keep an eye on my sister.

 

_Not even me?_

 

Especially you.

 

_You wound me. I don't know what Gina sees in you._

 

Me neither.

 

 

~*~

 

 

What in the actual fuck, Griffin?

 

_???_

 

O told me you were on a date with a dude twice your age.

 

_Jesus, Bellamy, you gave me a heart attack. I thought something was the matter._

 

Something IS the matter. He's too old for you!

 

_Calm your nuts, you idiot, nothing happened._

 

You say that now, but what happens when he takes you out again and sticks his tongue down your throat?

 

_First of, he's four years older than you, not twice my age. Secondly, he's the son of the chief of medicine. We were set up by our mothers, and both extremely unhappy about it, so we spent dinner trashtalking them and drinking until we couldn't see straight, and then went home SEPERATELY. Thirdly, it's none of your business whom I do or do not date._

 

I thought it wasn't your mother's business either. Since when did you let her resume her walking all over you?

 

_Again, I was just as pissed as he. And my mother is not walking all over me._

 

Doesn't sound like it. You shouldn't let her control your life like that.

 

_Look who's talking._

 

What's that supposed to mean?

 

_You know you're just as bad as me, right? You were a doormat to your mother._

 

This is not about me right now, and you have no right to make assumptions. You weren't there.

 

_That doesn't mean I don't know enough of it. I know you took care of O and everything else more than she ever did._

 

That's called being a brother.

 

_It's called child abuse._

 

God, would you shut the hell up? You have no right to bring that shit up, that has nothing to do with you.

 

_But you have the right to judge me and my choices?_

 

No of course not, but neither does your mother. And that date clearly wasn't a choice, that was her moving you around like a pawn like always. She did it with Wells, she did it with your career, and now she's doing it with your love life. Again.

 

_I said yes to the date to get her off my back, and to prove to her that meddling in my affairs never works. I feel nothing for Roan at all, and he's hung up on some girl I don't know, so this jealousy shitfest thing you've got going on is pointless. I'm doing just fine, and I don't need you saving me._

 

_And don't ever bring up Wells again._

 

Fine, whatever.

 

And I'm not jealous.

 

_Good._

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Are you and Mom still fighting?_

 

Leave her phone alone, Jasper.

 

_Actually it's your sister._

 

O, stay out of it.

 

_This is ridiculous, Not Rae. You're both being dicks._

 

Reyes, I will hunt you down.

 

_Monty here. Look, she's trying to hide it, but she's really upset. Please talk it out soon._

 

Jesus fucking Christ people, stop stealing her phone!!

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Open up, fucktard. I know you're home._

 

_I've got tequila._

 

_Half a bottle of tequila._

 

_Dude, why are you watching Project Runway?_

 

_Oh, real mature. Turning off your TV won't convince me you're not there. I'm not five._

 

_Just open the damn door Bellamy._

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

_Hey, it's Lincoln. Is Octavia with you? She's not answering her phone._

 

_Nvm, she's here._

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Bellamy Bradbury Blake, what the hell is wrong with you?_

 

 _Don't ignore me, it's your sister. Clarke is sick_.

 

What do you mean sick?

 

_I mean she has a fever of a 102 and a mean cough because you didn't let her in last night. I hope you're happy._

 

How the hell is that my fault, I didn't ask her to stay there??

 

_You could have opened up the door like a normal human being and let her stay on the couch so she wouldn't have to drown her feelings and cry alone._

 

Why would she be crying in the first place?

 

_Because yesterday was the anniversary of her dad and Wells' deaths, and she clearly needed someone to talk to._

 

Fuck.

 

FUCK.

 

Why did no one tell me?

 

_You didn't know??_

 

She never told me what day it was!

 

_You're such an asshole._

 

I know.

 

 

~*~

 

 

What are you doing out of bed?

 

_Huh?_

 

Shouldn't you be drinking chamomile or something instead of going to the pharmacy by yourself?

 

_Am I hallucinating all this, or are you magic?_

 

I'm in line behind you. Three people down.

 

_Oh. What are you doing here?_

 

Same as you. O got sick.

 

_I'm sorry._

 

Couldn't be helped. Germs are a bitch.

 

_Yeah, but she insisted on taking care of me anyway._

 

_Don't know where she gets that from._

 

Was that you trying to be funny, Princess?

 

_Depends, did it work?_

 

Hilariously. I'm in tears.

 

_Jerk._

 

Yeah about that. Look, I'm really sorry. I really didn't mean to fuck it all up.

 

_I know. Me neither. I probably could have handled that better instead of lashing out. And make assumptions about things I know nothing about._

 

I think the assumption thing goes both ways in this case.

 

_We sure know how to communicate, huh?_

 

Can't say I disagree with that statement.

 

I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I know you needed a friend.

 

_It's fine. O handled it._

 

It's not fine. I'm a really shitty friend. Hell, I'm even a shitty boyfriend.

 

_?_

 

Gina broke up with me.

 

_Oh no, I'm so sorry._

 

It's okay, I had it coming. Something just wasn't clicking. Plus she was tired of me being mopey and sad. Tried to get me to talk to you, but I wouldn't listen, so she dumped me. Said she didn't want to be with someone who didn't respect their friends enough to try and mend their relationship.

 

_You're saying she basically took my side?_

 

I guess so?

 

_Wow. She really is too good for you._

 

I know. She can totally have my spot in the group.

 

_I don't know, if she wants to stay there's room enough for the two of you._

 

If you say so.

 

_Want me to wait for you?_

 

Nah, it's fine. Go home and get some sleep.

 

_Or I could stay with you and Octavia. Keep the germs contained and all that._

 

Sure, but if I get sick, it's on you.

 

_Technically, it's on you._

 

… Damnit.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_I can't believe you didn't tell me you hooked up with Raven._

 

She told you?

 

_Of course she told me, she's currently drunk as hell and moody about everything. She's like a fountain after seven shots of Jack._

 

Well, let the record show that neither of us want to repeat what happened. It was a one time thing.

 

_Yeah, she told me in no uncertain terms that she hit it and quit it._

 

And it bothers you that you didn't know.

 

_A little._

 

Why?

 

_Why?? Bell, you tell me about pretty much all of your conquests, and I complain to you about all of my dating fails. We get dinner with all our friends once a week now, they act like we're their parents, you and I hang out pretty much every time you have a late class the next day, and you crashed on my couch five times last month because your TV was broken and you wanted to watch the rest of a documentary series. I'm sorry to say this, but it looks like we're best friends._

 

Even with what happened last week?

 

_Especially with what happened. We got past that, and I know we're probably still rocky, but we're getting there. I know we were already off to a really weird start to begin with, but I love where we've ended up, scrapes and all._

 

Well, Raven and I did agree that we wouldn't speak of it because it didn't matter, but I'm still sorry I didn't tell you. You've grown on me.

 

_Like fungus?_

 

Aaaand you ruined it. I hope you're happy. You're not getting a sweeping BFF declaration now.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Whoever left their phone, come get it or I'm donating it to kids in Africa.

 

_Good. It'll get more use down there._

 

Sweet. Postage will be a bitch, but at least I'll feel good about myself.

 

_Murphy, don't you dare. I'm coming to pick it up now._

 

Fifteen minutes or it's going in the trash.

 

_Just toss it now, he won't miss it._

 

Fuck you, Miller. Give Clarke her phone back.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

_I may or may not need your help with something._

 

May or may not?

 

_I know your day is over before mine, so just bring your least favourite shirt._

 

Am I going to get an answer if I ask why?

 

_No._

 

I'll be there in 20 minutes.

 

 

~*~

 

 

To be fair, purple is a great color for your boobs.

 

_Shut up._

 

 

~*~

 

 

Why is your hair so gold?

 

_Genetics. Why is your hair so dark?_

 

I think it's because my mom had dark hair, but I'm not sure.

 

_Are you drunk?_

 

What makes you say that?

 

_Nothing. Want company?_

 

Sure, I'm at Murphy's.

 

_Murphy got you drunk?_

 

Cheapest way to drink.

 

_Actually, the cheapest way to drink is to be besties with Lincoln._

 

Shit, I can't do that. He hates me.

 

I thought I was your bestie?

 

_You are, and you punched him like five months ago. He's over it._

 

I'll try to remember that.

 

_No you won't. I'll see you tomorrow with hangover food._

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

_You're so cute when you're drunk._

 

Please don't text me again. My ears are ringing.

 

_You can silence your phone, you know._

 

I don't know how.

 

_Christ, you're hungover._

 

Shhhhhhh.

 

_Open up, I've got pizza._

 

I can't move, you get the door.

 

_I'm the one at the door, genius._

 

So go in.

 

_I need your key._

 

You don't have a key?

 

_If I had a key, we would not be having this conversation._

 

_Are you okay? I heard a noise._

 

_You fell off the couch, didn't you?_

 

 

~*~

 

 

_You gave Clarke a key to your place? Way to make a move, Not Rae._

 

What is it with you people and privacy?

 

_Please let me be your wingman._

 

No one is wingmaning anyone. Clarke needed a key the other day, and I gave her one for later use. End of story.

 

_Uh huh, sure. Look she needs a good lay, and I can definitely recommend you._

 

Fucking hell Raven.

 

_That wasn't a no._

 

Please stop.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

_Do you want your key back?_

 

What? No of course not. Why?

 

Clarke, Raven can mind her own business. Keep the key.

 

_All right._

 

You okay?

 

_I think so._

 

I'm going to kill Reyes.

 

_It's not her._

 

Did something happen?

 

_My mom is dating again._

 

I'm getting us New York Super Fudge Chunk. Don't move.

 

 

~*~

 

 

This time I'm really shipping off your phone, dumbass.

 

_Unclench Murphy, Bellamy's teaching. I'll get it._

 

Thought you'd be too busy making out to lead normal lives.

 

_Screw you._

 

Love you too, Mom.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Well that was a pleasant surprise visit, but you do realize my students now think we're dating?

 

_You could do a lot worse than me._

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Did you know your sister and the others are working on getting us together?_

 

You mean our kids are trying to get their parents to hook up? Oh no, how horrible.

 

_Very funny, Blake._

 

I thought so.

 

Seriously, are they?

 

_Yep. Stole Raven's phone while she was in the bathroom. Her and O have a plan, but I didn't have time to find out what it was._

 

Clarke Griffin, are you saying you stole someone else's phone?

 

_Consider it payback for all the times mine has suddenly disappeared. I'm pretty sure only half the conversations on here are mine._

 

You're probably right.

 

_Anyway, wanted to give you a heads up._

 

Much obliged. Are you coming over tomorrow?

 

_With takeout and a historical movie for you to trash._

 

You're the best.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_I think I know what they're up to. Raven says she wants to go see a movie._

 

Oh no. They're gonna bail on us aren't they?

 

_And spy on us from a distance, probably._

 

Pathetic. It's the oldest trick in the book. Did that with O when she was fifteen.

 

_You spied on your sister at the movies?_

 

No, I very casually checked in on her on her first date with this douchebag.

 

And may have third wheeled when she discovered I was there.

 

_You're terrible. And I'm sure he wasn't a douchebag._

 

He wore two caps, and his name was Atom.

 

_Who the hell names their kid Atom?_

 

Exactly.

 

_Well, what's our plan here? Are we gonna give them the benefit of doubt or confront them?_

 

It actually sounds more fun if we just let them get away with it.

 

_Are you saying you want us to hook up?_

 

You, a terrible serial monogamist, and me, the king of one night stands? Is that really a good idea?

 

_Please, one night stand or not, you wish you had all this._

 

I've already complimented your boobs before, Clarke. I think we're both aware you're attractive.

 

_As long as that's clear._

 

That's it? No compliments for me?

 

_Do we really need to feed your ego?_

 

Hey, for all you know I could be really emotionally damaged, and that's why I sleep with all these women to get validation.

 

_Sure, because them staring at you and your stupid freckles aren't enough validation._

 

I have stupid freckles?

 

_We're getting off track. We'll just roll with it and watch whatever movie they have planned, maybe come up with some revenge plot when we're sure we alone._

 

Roger that.

 

You really think my freckles are stupid?

 

_Every single one of them._

 

 

~*~

 

 

_You're terrible at flirting, big brother._

 

My track record with women says otherwise. Why is this an issue?

 

_If you're ever going to take Clarke on a real date, you need to step up your game._

 

Is that why you're all going to ditch us at the movies later?

 

_YOU KNOW??????_

 

You're not exactly inconspicuous, O.

 

_But we haven't said anything!!!_

 

You call us mom and dad, and you make insinuations all the time. Did you really think we wouldn't notice you trying to get us together?

 

_Wait, we? Are you already hooking up??? I knew it. I am so getting dollar bills from Raven._

 

No, we're not together. You're betting on us?

 

_Yet. You're not together yet. Give it time. It's practically inevitable._

 

Yeah, I don't think so.

 

_Then you're an idiot._

 

Fine. Let's say for arguments sake that we get together. What then?

 

_Well, hopefully you'd stop moping around._

 

I don't mope.

 

_Please, since Gina you've been grumpier than ever. The only time you really smile is around Clarke._

 

And you.

 

_I don't count, doofus, you already love me._

 

Except when you're being a brat. Like now.

 

_But a cute brat._

 

Debatable. Please give Clarke her phone back.

 

_You're no fun._

 

 

~*~

 

 

Tell me that's not the wonder twins I hear in the back row.

 

_How dare you text during a movie, Not Rae? I expected better from you._

 

It's the previews, you'll live. Come sit with us.

 

_Negative. If you guys are gonna make out, I have to spare Octavia from the icky, make sure Miller and Murphy don't rip each other a new one, and keep Jasper and Monty from adventuring. If you think about it, I'm doing you a favor, since this is obviously a babysitting gig. You're welcome._

 

Why do you even have my phone?

 

_You forgot it in the car, Babe. Naturally._

 

Can I at least get it back?

 

_Shh, it's starting._

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Admit it, you had fun._

 

Slightly.

 

Raven's a good babysitter.

 

_I know. We should get her to watch the kids more often._

 

Is that your way of saying we should do this again?

 

_It's me saying the set-up wasn't totally horrible._

 

_You're terrible at flirting though. No hand holding at all. Two thumbs down._

 

Hand holding usually leads to sweaty hands. Terrible idea for a first date.

 

_Come up with something better then._

 

Well, for starters, holding hands should take place outside, preferably during a walk.

 

I could accept it during Netflix and chill as well.

 

_I would hope so, otherwise it kinda defeats the concept._

 

Of Netflix and chill? How?

 

_Please tell me you're kidding._

 

About what? I thought it meant hanging out and eating pizza and all that.

 

_Oh my god._

 

What?

 

_You're a fossil._

 

Am not.

 

_Oh yeah? Look up Netflix and chill right now._

 

Why?

 

_Just look it up._

 

Oh Jesus.

 

I'm old.

 

_Told you._

 

Well, how was I supposed to know it was a euphemism?

 

_Aren't you supposed to know? You're a history teacher._

 

That's not how it works, dork.

 

_Whatever, you're still a fossil._

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Do you at least know what it means when someone wants the D?_

 

A little warning might have been nice. Think I had a near death experience with a noodle.

 

_I'll take that as a yes._

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Wonder Twin #1 calling Broody McBroodster, over._

 

It's not a walkie-talkie, Jasper.

 

_Noted. Your boyfriend wants to know the ETA on Dad, over._

 

Him and Mom are out shopping. Why?

 

_Are they out of Doritos? Over._

 

Are you guys high again?

 

_Wonder Twin #2 calling Broody McBroodster. Oreos will work just fine, over._

 

Oreos are in your top cupboard, #2.

 

Over.

 

_But we ate them all :(_

 

You went through three packs???

 

_They were delicious!_

 

Why are we even dating...

 

_Because I'm way cuter than Jasper._

 

_I rescind that._

 

_It's my turn with the phone!_

 

Please get off Clarke's phone. Miller will be over with Oreos in twenty minutes, over.

 

_You're the best, Dad!_

 

 

~*~

 

 

_At this point, I'm not even sure if this is my phone any more._

 

Seems like you should change your passcode more often.

 

_You're aware that Raven and Monty can bypass that in less than four minutes, right?_

 

Really?

 

_Yup. Used to be seven minutes, but Raven found a way around that._

 

Damn.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Mom and Dad are dating! I repeat, Mom and Dad are dating!_

 

It's not a group chat, O.

 

_Shut up and let me enjoy this._

 

_I know you guys aren't here, but the Wonder Twins are celebrating hard._

 

They made pot brownies, didn't they?

 

_Do you want some?_

 

God no.

 

_We'll leave you a few anyway._

 

 

~*~

 

 

I love you.

 

_Aww, I love you too, Not Rae._

 

Ffs.

 

And I love you too, Real Rae.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_I love you so much._

 

It's not happening.

 

_Please?_

 

No.

 

_Why not?_

 

Because I don't meddle in other people's affairs.

 

_Come on, Bell. They kinda got us together, it's only fair that we repay at least one of our kids._

 

You're taking the Mom role way too seriously.

 

_And as a mother, I have a duty to my child!_

 

I'm leaving for work now.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_She's literally the cutest, Bell._

 

Good for her.

 

_Come on. Please?_

 

 

What am I even supposed to do in this scenario?

 

_Just get Miller to bring Monty and Jasper to the Dropship tomorrow, I'll do the rest._

 

Why is it that most of your plans always seem to involve alcohol?

 

 

~*~

 

 

Okay, you're right. She's fucking cute.

 

_I told you!_

 

_Now say I'm cute too._

 

You're cute too.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Wait, Mom has a tattoo?_

 

Whoever this is, did you seriously just go through more than eight months of chat history?

 

_Not the issue here. Where's the tattoo?_

 

_Come on, I won't tell._

 

_Is it a tramp stamp?_

 

_I bet it's a tramp stamp._

 

It's not a tramp stamp.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Will we ever find out where the tattoo is?_

 

Probably not.

 

_Figures. Dad is a total killjoy._

 

Damn straight. Go to bed, you're grounded.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_I can't believe you forgot your phone._

 

_You're gonna spend all of Christmas without your phone._

 

_You're an idiot._

 

Thanks, Raven, but I'll be fine, really. I can use Bell's, and lets be fair, you all use it more than I do.

 

_We have our own phones!_

 

Then use them!

 

_Where would the fun be in that?_

 

Speaking of fun, how is everyone?

 

_Feeling weird and missing you guys._

 

I know but we'll all be back for New Year's.

 

_How are the boys? Did they kill each other yet?_

 

Thankfully, no. We had an incident with the tree topper, but all limbs are still attatched.

 

_Wait, the tree topper!? :O_

 

You don't want to know.

 

_Actually, I really really do._

 

 

~*~

 

 

_I can't believe you guys are late wtf._

 

It's the Holidays, what did you expect? We're stuck in traffic.

 

_That's no excuse._

 

Actually, it's a perfectly valid excuse.

 

_You better not be enjoying yourself._

 

Kind of. Bellamy is yelling at the “level of incompetence on display”

 

_That does make it a little better._

 

Right?

 

Jesus, someone just cut us off, and he nearly rearended the guy.

 

Note to self, don't ever let Lincoln ride shotgun.

 

_He's not sitting with Octavia?_

 

They convinced us that they were manly men who could do the driving while we relax back here.

 

_And how's that going?_

 

Well, when they're not discussing the quickest way home or fighting over the music, they are surprisingly terrifying when they gang up and curse every driver within a three mile radius.

 

_Wait, you're telling me that sweet Linc has road rage?_

 

He just slammed his hand on the horn because we were going too slow.

 

We're not moving.

 

_Damn._

 

O finds this hilarious, of course.

 

_Of course._

 

_Anyways, how long until you get here?_

 

About half an hour depending on the traffic.

 

_So, two hours?_

 

Probably.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_I can't believe you forgot your phone at my place, you nerd._

 

Yes, I am indeed a nerd but it's not my fault, Clarke, I'm obviously a very busy and important man.

 

_Yes but I'm your girlfriend, so I'm automatically right._

 

Of course you are, my sweet angel, how could I be so stupid?

 

_It's OK, I still love you._

 

Well thank God and the angels for that. You're the love of my life, so I'd hate to see that go.

 

 

~*~

 

 

What the fuck?

 

_I was bored._

 

So you texted yourself using two phones?

 

_Again, bored._

 

Did you accidentally eat one of Monty's brownies?

 

_Why do I have to be high to entertain myself?_

 

I'm just worried Octavia will see this and claim that it's all me.

 

_You're telling me you don't sound like that?_

 

That's exactly what I'm telling you.

 

_Please Bell, when we're together you're one second away from spewing poetry about my hair._

 

Sure.

 

You are actually the love of my life though, just so we're clear.

 

_I know that, you dork. Don't you have papers to grade?_

 

Sadly yes. Come over later?

 

_Chinese or Italian?_

 

Either is good.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Dude, are you going to propose soon?_

 

Christ, it's been less than a year since we met. You guys are way too invested in our love life.

 

Also, stop kidnapping Clarke's phone.

 

_But her phone has Temple Run AND Tetris!_

 

You know you can download those, right?

 

_Please Dad, I wasn't born yesterday._

 

Could have fooled me.

 

 

~*~

 

 

FYI, when I do propose to Clarke, you guys will be the last to know. I'm revoking your friendship privileges for being so nosy.

 

_OMG he said WHEN!_

 

_OTP!!!!_

 

_Don't take too long, asshole._

 

_I knew iiiiiiiiiiiiit!_

 

_Hell yes, Not Rae!!_

 

_Finally!_

 

What worries me the most is that I can tell all of you apart.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_So I see you're going to propose to me soon?_

 

Define soon.

 

_Well, Valentine's Day is coming up._

 

Yeah that's way too soon. Try a year or two.

 

_As long as you give me a heads up so I can shave my legs._

 

Done.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_God, you guys are the weirdest couple ever. Hooking you up was a terrible idea._

 

No takebacks.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Whoever has Clarke's phone, give it back to her.

 

_But I'm playing Tetris._

 

Now, Jasper.

 

_Fiiiiine._

 

_Hey, babe. What's up?_

 

Jasper, I mean it.

 

_Damn it!_

 

 

~*~

 

 

 _So I was thinking we'd do some weird not-V-day thing to celebrate our One Year Textiversary._ _Thoughts?_

 

As long as it involves alcohol, I'm up for it.

 

_Sounds serious. Are the kids doing reenactments again?_

 

Worse. They're sending me anonymous Valentine letters.

 

_Awww, that's cute._

 

It's not cute, it's creepy. I'm at least ten years older than them ffs.

 

_So you never had a crush on any of your teachers when you were a kid?_

 

Not even close. They were all old and boring.

 

Wait, did you have a crush on a teacher?

 

Clarke?

 

_No._

 

You took too long. Who was it?

 

_No one._

 

Clarke.

 

_I really didn't have a crush on a teacher when I was a kid. That came later._

 

You mean you have a crush on a teacher now?

 

Oh, right.

 

So you're hot for the teacher, huh?

 

_You're an idiot._

 

I'm aware. Is it the glasses?

 

_And the tie. Definitely the tie._

 

Noted. Anything else?

 

_Yeah, you should wear that tomorrow when we go to the Dropship._

 

_I can't help but think that people won't steal my phone after they find this._

 

They've had it coming.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_I really don't think anyone wanted to know that about your sex life._

 

Serves you right for being so nosy.

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Happy One Year Textiversary!!!_

 

Clarke, it's four in the morning.

 

_And?_

 

And I love you so much, but you know you just actually got out of bed to get your phone, just to text me this?

 

We're having a conversation over the phone.

 

Texting.

 

While staring at each other.

 

_Your point?_

 

My point is it's winter and I'm missing body heat.

 

_Wuss._

 

 

~*~

 

 

_Hey, I've got ice cream and strawberries. Anything else we need?_

 

Milk and eggs if you want pancakes.

 

_Great, yes please. Do we have chocolate chips?_

 

Looks like Monty ate them all the last time he was here.

 

Get some cookies too.

 

_On it._

 

_Hey, are we gonna Netflix and chill today?_

 

You're never going to let me live that down, are you?

 

_Nope._

 

You're terrible.

 

_Love you too._

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I promised fluff. No beta as always.


End file.
